I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I believe in your delicious
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
