if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize