Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i've created a new STD.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
