Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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