If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize