That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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