just come out here and I will go home with you...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
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His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
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I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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