Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
