they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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