There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize