butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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