All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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