We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
