Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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