Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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