did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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