My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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