I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
