Your dad touched me again.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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