Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
