uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize