My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
