To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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