Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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