If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
