Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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