You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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