did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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