no. you can't hotbox the world.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
