I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
