watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
