im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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