Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
