Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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