Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
