how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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