So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
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It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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