i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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