he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
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even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
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I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize