my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish life had little blips of pornography
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
