in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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