what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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