But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
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I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
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