No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
worst night to have a conscience
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
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Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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