it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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