We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I CAN MOONWALK!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
