I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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