I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize