I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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