Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize