Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
