I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
