Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
