bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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