Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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