A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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