I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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