so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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